My Very First Super Special Blog 

  Welcome, one and all! Actually maybe I should begin by saying “Thanks for reading my

blog and therefore making all my hours of slaving over a hot keyboard worthwhile.” (FYI, my keyboard isn’t really hot. Nor is it cold - it’s more room temperature…. I’m sure all of you are aware of the temperature of a keyboard because you probably have one sitting in front of you with a computer somewhere nearby; otherwise, how on earth could you be reading this?).  But I digress.  I decided to start writing a blog because one day I woke up and thought “Hey,  I’m pretty damn awesome, and so are 97.34% of my thoughts! I wish I could write all of them down and then somehow share my awesomeness with the world. How terribly sad it is that I cannot.”  And then I began to go about my day, but somebody came up to me and smacked me in the forehead with a V8 bottle and said “You should’ve had a V8!” then ran off cackling madly leaving me in his dust with an empty V8 bottle and a head full of confusion. 

          After staring forlornly at my empty V8 bottle, a real and true and totally not imaginary light bulb appeared over my head and I realized that I could share all of my magnificent ideas and thoughts and views and such with you - the world.  It’s a little thing called blogging.  And it’s not like Facebook where it is socially unacceptable to post long statuses that have super cool awesome content many times a day.  In the blogging world, you’re allowed to do that!  And it isn’t even frowned upon! It is in fact smiled upon.  Oh sweet blog world how I do love you.  I’m going to pull a fast one here and mention the blog Hyperbole and a Half because if anybody ever Googles her, this blog will show up in the results somewhere, and people might read it.  This is how I’m sneaking my way into the minds of America.  Soon, maybe I will even reach international level, but I highly doubt that.  Sorry Allie Brosh, I totally think you’re awesome but I need people to read my blog.  Wait, I just might get international viewers if I talk about Doctor Who!  I was going to do that anyway, but then I remembered that it’s a British show and that means that people in Britain watch it. Gee, I’m so smart.  Do you see now why it was so imperative that I share my genius with the world? I’m sure you do.  I’m going to take your silence on the matter as agreement, and you can’t stop me.  

          Oh, and by the way,  I just realized that earlier when I said that you had to be near a computer to read this because there is no possible other way to, that I’m wrong.  Somebody could easily have printed it out and given it to you, or even sent it to you on your phone.  But that is a long way into the future because I actually have to be popular in order to have people send this to other people.  One day though. One day. So if you somehow magically stumble upon me and are not one of my friends that I have plagued day and night with pleas to view my blog, tell your friends, and have them tell their friends, and so on and so forth until I take over the world!  Mwahahahaaha!!!!!!!!!!!! *cue thunderclap* 

          I’m going to keep this post relatively short, because it is after all my first post and I have no wish to weary you with a bunch of nonessential nonsense right now.  Because I am terribly backwards, I’m going to end this post by introducing myself.  Here goes.  (nervously clears throat and shuffles feet awkwardly)  Hi, my name is Chelsea Lippens.  I live in America - sort of.  My most recent residence was in North Carolina, but six months ago, my family and I left it to move to Hawaii.  A lot of you would be super jelly of me and my home, but don’t waste the energy.  I live in a tent.  If and when I ever get around to making videos, I’ll give you a tour.  Don’t hold your breath though, it’s nothing to get excited over.  I have decided also that this blog will be pretty PG for the most part, with a minimum of profanity,  but my resolutions don’t last long so we’ll see. 

          I’m a junior in high school, but I don’t go to a real school anymore.  It was easier when we first moved here to just enroll me in virtual school.  The virtual school I attend is a branch of a charter school here on the Big Island of Hawaii in the lovely (not really) town of Pahoa.  The Charter school (which is called HAAS - Hawaii Academy of Arts and Science)  was really the best choice, because if I went to Pahoa High School, I would get my ass kicked on a daily basis, or so I’ve been told.  People here are quick to take offense, and I, with my reflexive sarcasm, would not fare well with kids who take everything to heart.  But hey, if you continue to read my blog you’ll learn a ton of things about Hawaiian culture, and fruit here and stuff like that.  As I mentioned before, I mean to make videos at some point, and when I do, I’ll walk down my road and show you the neighborhood, which isn’t so much a neighborhood as a red dirt road cut into the middle of the jungle with some houses scattered here and there.  Well, I do believe that I have now introduced myself, and said many other things besides my name and residence, so I take my leave of you now, and wish you a good day.  I said good day!